


this family is broken

by goblinhimbo



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Slight Hurt/Comfort, Suicide Attempt, Thoughts of Self-harm, aftermath of a suicide attempt, ep 75
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:07:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25496569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goblinhimbo/pseuds/goblinhimbo
Summary: In the after, Sammy isn't quite sure where is.aka the one where Sammy is sad but its okay because his friends love him.
Relationships: Ben Arnold & Sammy Stevens
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	this family is broken

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first work i've published in the fandom but i'm working on like, five others.

Sammy wasn’t sure where he was.

He never had been much good with directions, but he usually had his google maps to guide him. When The Electrolocaust happened, he realized how much he relied on it to guide him, and after a week he broke down and bought an actual map. Years later, and he still barely knew where anything was in the small town. Like the fool he is, he seemed to have lost the damn map, and truly had no idea where he was. After only five minutes of driving after his phone stopped working he stopped bothering.

He parked and turned off his car, and sat in silence for what felt like an hour not thinking or feeling. Just remembering. Remembering when he and Jack met in college, when they got drunk and finally kissed, when they bought their house, when Jack proposed. Each passing memory felt almost physically painful, but he still didn’t really feel it.

Finally forcing himself out of the car, Sammy stood on the side of the road. The sun was coming up, but the chill still was biting, causing him to hug himself. He walked around the car and opened the trunk, hoping there would be a stray coat or blanket back there. There, rumpled in the corner, was Jack’s old leather jacket. Sammy pulled it on, hands shaking, as tears started streaming down his face once again.

Sammy allowed himself to collapse onto the road, landing on his knees harshly. The pain was distant, as though it were happening to someone else, and he found himself wishing that he could actually feel it. As if the dull pain had awoken something in him, the old urge to destroy himself returned with a vengeance.

_God_ , he had been so close.

Jack was there, he knew it, he had felt it. Sammy doesn't often rely on feelings like that, he doesn’t allow them to decide for him what he believed. That was Ben’s area. Sammy was logical, a skeptic, only accepting hard facts.

This time, though? This time Sammy didn’t need to see it to know it was true. He knew Jack was there, in the void, where he couldn’t reach him.

Sammy was aware of the time passing in a way that felt distant and far away. It could have been fifteen minutes he had been sitting there on the cold road or it could have been hours. At some point, however, the tears trailed off, leaving only an aching quiet to settle into his bones. The idea of standing crossed his mind briefly before he quickly got rid of it, lethargy draining any motivation he may have once had away.

Eventually, two lights cut through the darkness, coming from down the road, racing toward him faster than it should. Sammy stared at it, uncomprehending for several long moments, before recognizing the car as Troy’s. Sammy finally managed to force himself to his feet, swaying slightly. The car came to a screeching stop seconds after he stood, the passenger door opening before the car even stopped moving.

“Sammy!” a voice that was undeniably Ben’s called out, voice cracking.

Sammy watched as Ben threw himself out of the car, a distant, “Damn it Ben!” coming from inside the car, and some part of him registered the voice as Troy’s. In what seemed like less than a second, Ben was flinging himself onto Sammy, nearly bringing them both to the ground from the unexpected weight. Ben latched himself onto Sammy in an instant, hugging him with a strength you wouldn’t think he had from just looking at him.

“Damn- Damn it Sammy! Don’t do that, do you understand? God _damn_ it, Sammy…” The words came out crackling and broken, just barely understandable from in between the sobs that were leaving him. His hand clutched at the back of Sammy’s shirt desperately, as if afraid that if he let go he would disappear.

Sammy slowly raised his arms and put them around Ben, loosely returning the hug. He didn’t respond to Ben, barely having the energy to continue standing, never mind trying to find the words to comfort his friend. Out of the corner of his eye he saw as Troy and Emily stepped out of the car, standing slightly in the distance. He couldn’t make out their faces, and he realized that during some point in the night he had lost his glasses.

Slowly he turned his head and buried it in Ben’s hair. Ben made a low, wounded sound that barely reached Sammy’s ears and somehow managed to grip him even tighter. “Never do that again, Sammy, do you hear me? _Never again._ I thought I was gonna lose you, _fuck_ , Sammy.”

Sammy looked for the energy to respond, finding it buried deep within him. At that moment he didn’t particularly care if he never spoke again, but the need to comfort his best friend urged him on. “I’m sorry.” Ben startled slightly, clearly not expecting him to speak.

A second past before Ben spoke. “I don’t want you to be sorry, dude. I just need you to promise me to never try that again.”

Ben pulled away, and Sammy immediately missed his warmth, though he didn’t go far. He pulled away just a couple inches, enough so that he could meet his eye. “Sammy, please. Please promise me you’ll never do that again. Cause I can’t do this without you."

The words fell from his mouth before he could even think of the response, “I promise. I won’t do that again, I don’t-”

Sammy was cut off when Troy, who had apparently gotten tired of watching his co-best buds talk without him, walked up to them. Now that he was closer, he could see his eyes tinged with red and a fragile expression, as if he were about to fall apart at any moment. Despite the clear fear on his face, a smile that seemed too tight with worry was across his face, and Sammy finally felt the inevitable swell of guilt.

“Hey there bud,” Troy said, his voice a soft whisper.

Wordlessly, he raised one arm, signalling for Troy to join the hug, like he knew he must want to. Troy's shoulders slumped in relief slightly, before he quickly strode forward to join the two. Once he had joined them, Sammy looked over at Emily. He still couldn't make out her face, but he motioned for her to come join them as well.

As she joined their little huddle, more of a desperate clutching onto each other then a hug, Sammy felt a little piece of himself settle. His heart screamed family. They were small and hurt and scared and not yet complete, but he didn’t care. This one was _his,_ this family was Sammy’s and he would do whatever he could to keep them safe.


End file.
